The Lazy Life of the Stay at Home Mom
Since so many members of our society have pointed out that stay-at-home moms are lazy leeches that suck the very life out of their husbands and do nothing but lie around on the couch all day, I figured I would provide a bit of my own personal experience on this subject. I won’t speak for the other 5.6 million Stay-at-home moms in America, since I can only speak for myself.
Let’s answer a few common questions.
What do you DO all day?
On Mondays, Saturdays and Thursdays, I teach piano lessons in my home. I only have a few students and I wouldn’t consider it to be even a part-time “job”, but it keeps me sane and provides a little bit of grocery money. I do about 5 online radio live music shows a week, which I do get paid a little for, but this is also not a job that would compare to full time wages. I am part of a daytime play group for my daughter that meets once a week and a couple of local moms’ groups that meet for outings a few times each month at various places like public parks and zoos. I get hired to do occasional recording projects throughout the year for small ensembles and people wishing to give songs as gifts to loved ones. I’m working on a book as a ghost-writer for a man with cerebral palsy and meet with him once a week to type. I occasionally perform in Philadelphia venues where I sell CDs and iTunes downloads, but lately I just haven’t had the time or energy.
Ah yes, and I take care of my child.
It must be nice getting to stay home all day.
Yes, actually it is. I mean, it’s nice that I have that option. However, we don’t just stay home all day. Children need time outdoors every day; the more the better. We spend quite a bit of time at the zoo and the local playgrounds, which is enjoyable. We also spend a lot of time going out to do grocery shopping and household errands, which is not so fun with a small child. There is also this feeling that because I don’t go to work, I need to do ALL of the housework and child care myself, which can feel a bit Cinderella-ish at times. There are some days that I’m literally on my feet cleaning and cooking all day from the moment I get up til the moment I climb back in bed. And I’m always the last to get to bed. Because of the way my schedule works, it can often feel like I haven’t had any “alone” time in days. Maybe some children are content to play quietly on their own, but not my kid. If she is awake, she follows me. Even to the bathroom. Sometimes mommy just wants to pee alone. I often don’t notice this infringement upon my freedom until going to the grocery store by myself feels like a luxury vacation. Still, this is my choice. I like getting to raise my daughter and enjoy her childhood.
So, When are you going back to work?
Before my daughter was born, I spent years in college getting a degree to teach Music Education. Many years. I transferred colleges. I changed my degree program a couple of times. I worked while in college and struggled to keep up with both classwork and employment. I understand the value of work. I know that a full time job is hard and requires dedication, commitment, self-discipline and all that other crap. I get it. But still….I would say that my life back then was easier in many ways than my life now. Back then, I only had to take care of ME. When I had to be somewhere, I only had to get MYSELF ready. I could even slack on my own self-care. There is no slacking with a child. They can’t skip meals because you’re too busy or go without a diaper change because you just don’t have time. It has to be done. And even when you fulfill all of those basic needs, they may still cry endlessly. I know, none of this answers the original question. I don’t have an answer. Maybe I’ll go back soon. Maybe later. I don’t know right now, but I’ll know when the time is right.